January 20, 2010

The Simplest Love

"I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it, and those who haven't."
- Bill Cosby

Recently, a friend of mine said love is nothing but a bunch of lies and promises that were never kept.
She says there is no other outcome to it other than hurt and pain and a broken heart. She sounded knowledgeable and pretty sure about it, I was sure from the serious look on her face she actually believed in what she said. What is more surprising that she like me was just nineteen, a very very young age to have such dark thoughts on something that most people think is a basic necessity for a happy life.

Many people would agree with her, I personally know a lot of such cynics. Maybe I am one of them too. I knew for sure that I was one of them, until I met someone who said something very contradictory and made me think otherwise.

I was coming from my tuition classes at the usual time minus a usual friend who used to come along with me those days, he skipped class today. Lucky brat, the class was torture anyway. Too much calculus can rot anybody’s brain. Ours was just about half way there. But there wasn't much you could do about it, except verbally abuse mankind for being so intelligent to make up something this complicated, and torture us innocent students. He and I usually cursed our math teacher together but since he was not with today I was doing it by myself in my head, hoping my telepathic powers could somehow blow the teacher’s head apart. And wished dearly that I wouldn't have to go jail for that. I would plead that the crime was committed for the good of all humanity. I was also beginning to think up arguments to my defence.

That was when I saw him first. At the depot, where the bus for Ganapathy, the number 3, halts. He was wearing his usual gray uniform of a peon or janitor with the name tag & emblem of a local state-run hospital. I had seen him before in the stand. Like me he too went on the number 3 bus daily. What caught my eye was that he was talking animatedly to someone on his mobile phone. God! Here even an aging ancient janitor has a mobile, and here I have been nagging and badgering my dad to get me one for months. The bus arrived and I was still fuming over this newly discovered injustice, how everything was wrong in the universe. I somehow blindly under auto-plot boarded the empty bus succumbing to the crowd's push and shove . The emptiness of a bus doesn’t matter to us Indians, we simply just have to push and shove collectively at the doors. After that inevitable ruckus ceased I got inside, spotted a vacant seat and quickly sat there before the guy with heavy trunk could reach it. He in turn cursed under his breath and pushed the heavy trunk forward to find another seat. Sorry mister, no manners and etiquettes when it comes to the bus seat. Rejoicing at my success in getting a seat for myself, and smugly looked around to see the disappointed faces of the ones left standing who did not get a seat.

Thats when I saw the janitor next, he had just boarded the bus quite leisurely taking his time after the rush had decreased still talking on his phone. What a loser. Now he’d have to stand the whole time. The bus was filled with passengers, there is now way he could have got a seat coming in this slow. Considering our reputation with regards to population, this was inevitable. The bus finally started. Driver shifts the gear and the bus moved forward. By the time the first two halts had been completed the conductor had come near me I bought the ticket. The conductor noticed the janitor while I bought the ticket. The conductor smiled at the janitor who in turn grinned at him.

“The wife?” he asked.



“Who else?” the janitor mouthed, rolling his eyes.

The Truth About Lies

“But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.”
- Khaled Hosseini

I have always thought that truth and lies are always interlinked to each other. Each cannot survive without the other. They both are nothing but the two sides of the same old rusted coin. Truth is usually overrated, but then so are the lies. People think that the truth might liberate their soul, which is all nothing but a pile of rotten horsecrap. People want to always know everything. And hear nothing but the truth. What is the point anyways? More often than not we never like the truth any more than the lie. The truth only makes it all the more difficult. It’s so much easier sometimes to just say a lie and get it over with than bring out the whole big fiasco of a truth to light which needs a much longer explanation.

And explanations aren’t foolproof. There are times when the explanations get so complex and twisted and turned such a way that you yourself have got no idea what was it that got you into this mess you are in.

I think that the main reason for lying is our loss of the most precious human qualities, our ability to forgive. We are afraid of each other. We are scared witless that the other person might not understand our helplessness or the conditions and the pressures that we were under at that precise moment which led to the choices or actions we had undertaken. The choices and decisions that got us in the trouble we are in. If we knew that they would understand and forgive us. We would have no hesitation in plainly saying the truth as it was.

I am sure that our mistakes aren’t as grave as crucifying Christ. And even He asked for forgiveness to the culprits who did that to him. No, none of us are Christ. I don’t actually expect anyone to walk on water (would have been pretty cool though). And I probably don’t expect anyone to crucify anybody except their college profs may be (y'all know you want to). If He can manage to forgive at the last moment of his life. Why can not we do that? They say to walk on the path of the Almighty. Then why don’t they do the same. Why can’t they forgive? Why does everything have to be done according to their norm? Why can’t they forgive us if we stray from their path? Is it so unbearable for them to see us defy them? Why can’t they let us be? Judging us and condescending us is not going to help us in any way. When are they going to realize that?

We are young. We are meant to make mistakes. Loads of them. We are meant to learn from them. We have to fall first to learn how to walk straight. Humans did not learn to stand without falling for the first dozen hundreds of years. If you had patience then. Where is that patience now? If you could tolerate and forgive mistakes way back when you were just like a chimpanzee, why can’t you do that now when you are supposed to be the smartest living creature on this planet? May be if you could forgive, we wouldn’t be so darn scared of the truth.

So now that it is quite obvious that not forgiving is not helping much. Why not try forgiving?

Hope it doesn’t take another bunch of centuries to better ourselves this time…



----

Please like my FB page to stay updated on upcoming posts:

My Story

“Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.”
- Niccolò Machiavelli,
  'The Prince'

People think that they have the vaguest idea of me and what I am but that, unfortunately, cannot be more further from the truth. I’ve been called secretive, secluded and even hostile at times. And at sometimes I am called very outgoing and a very center-of-all-the-good-times kind of person.

Contradictory? Yes. I think so too.

How can a single person be so many things to so many people at so many different situations? May be that’s it, the situations are the ones that make us be different at different times to different people. Some people make us let go of all the boundaries and limits that we make ourselves restricted to. We just cannot seem to stay reserved and secluded from them for long like we do with the rest of mankind.

It probably is a universal problem. I am sure there are more like me. I am not really surprised at that notion. Because. There is never enough of anything. Never. We as a specie always need more.

Need. Funny word isn’t it. We think we need this pricey little shoe that is probably worth a week’s meal for a family in Africa. We think we need this immaculate vintage Jag that can probably fill that same family’s hungry stomach for a year or more. We think we need that. But we never actually do. I think what we actually lack in life we make up by wishing for stuff. Dreaming of it. Working our butts of day-in-day-out that a day will come along when we actually get to have all these oh-so-lovely stuff that we need so bad. But that is what they are. Stuff. Good for nothing stuff. I don’t wish for them. I am darn proud that I am not that materialistic. Not that shallow.

I wish for experiences. Yes, experiences. Experiences like Polo had. Experiences like those kids of the houses with a big hall with crystal chandeliers and swimming pools. Experiences like the lowly thug who has had some self-claimed, exaggerated and glorified tales to tell. I’d like to have some like them. I’d like to have some experiences to call me own. Some stories that I can tell around a bonfire as my own experiences. Some story where I was a character of importance. Some play in which I am the lead and not among the audiences. Some movie based on a true story.

My story.

Wish I had one. Hope for one. Dream of one.

I am waiting for it to come around. Working, waiting for my story to begin…



----

Please like my FB page to stay updated on upcoming posts: