Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

July 24, 2015

Milestones

They say our life is made up of a few seemingly small events that might not have made a lot of noise when they came to happen but in the long run shapes up what your future would be like.

Well if that’s true, I don't know why when I sit and try to recall such events that might've occurred in my life I come empty handed. At least none that comes to mind immediately. Everything that comes to mind are those big obvious ones - school, college, crushes, those stupid rage bouts, random travels, work projects. Those are probably present in nearly everyone's list. And well by definition I am supposed to be I am a millennial, we're supposed to hate being ordinary. I should really get down to it and actually think of something timid and minuscule event that made a hell of an impact in my life.

Until I figure that one out. Let me know just go on a tangent and write about the milestone this post is namesake of - This week I've completed three years of work life. Woo ooh! Yay! Yippee-ka-yay!!

that The Breakfast Club moment!

What? No jumps of exuberant cheer? No fist pumps to the air? No leaps of chair throwing glasses of beer on the floor yelling incomprehensible gibberish?

Oh yes. Why would any of this mean anything to ya’ll? My coming on the other end of the tunnel of corporate pledging period is not really going to end the troubles of the world now is it? But then, what is the point of having blogs and not being able bask in all the glory of self promotion now and then. So bleep-ya'll, I've earned this.

I wrote a similar post (seems like a century) on my First Anniversary, at First Job!. Well as the title suggests I was too spirited about it that time. When the blessed anniversary came around for the second time, I was caught up with work and stuff so much so that I didn't have any time to remember it till a month later, let alone write a blog entry about it. I am going to be such an amazing husband to some lucky woman one day.

Anyways. This time I remembered especially, well honestly, because people around me get so stumped  whenever I tell them I'd not even completed my three years of work experience. You see, over the past couple years I've come to realize that I am really good at what I do. And that is being noticed by coworkers now. So when they hear that I have gotten this competent with only just over a couple of years of experience under my belt, they give this incredulous look that says, 'You're pulling my legs/I hate your guts.' Either ways that one look, that one moment of silent comprehension - makes my day!

You have to realize now I am a fairly level-headed guy with a skewed sense of achievement. Getting a Cadbury Gems packet filled with orange and yellow ones, is an achievement. Getting to board the train in the last minute and still get a window seat, is an achievement. So for me, a muted acknowledgement of my skill in something that I do on a daily basis is a big validation of it.

Obviously, this does seem a bit megalomaniac even to me as I write this. But the fact of the matter is I did work a lot for getting here. If you were to meet me IRL, you wouldn't see me talking so freely about the  efforts that’s gone into this. But here in the internet, who gives a poodle. Truth of the matter is I don't know if there was much of efforts at all. I just really like what I do. And so whatever I do, how much every time I clock in do it, hasn't really seemed like a big deal. I am good at what I do because I like it. I like reading about it, I like doing new stuff with it. I like that I can help the clients with the things I can do. And well, it pays for the bread too. How very Fountainhead of me.

Now when I sit and think about what my life would be like if by some twist of fate I would've ended up doing something else, like working on some other core technology languages etc. I don't know if I would've been just as satisfied with it. I might've learned to live with it, maybe even become good at it. But what I do now, namely business intelligence, I adore it.

It does seem like I’ve found at least one small event in my life to add to that list we were talking off. Huh. Who knew.

October 31, 2014

Them Half-Baked Social Workers


“No society can surely be flourishing and happy, of which the far greater part of the members are poor and miserable.”
- Adam Smith


Okay lets see. Today was a fairly normal day.

I was being the usual guy who sits in front of the mapping designer all day dragging objects and coding this and that. You know usual nerd IT stuff. Then this mail comes around lunch time from a colleague. It seemed to be one of those forwards that you get in your inbox from people who themselves got from somebody else, but it being of a huge size (this one was 3MB) you forward it to everyone else you know an rid your inbox of its burden soon after to avoid the out-of-space debacle.

The subject of this specific one was "And we say that we are working hard!!!”
Well well, feeling a tad too sarcastic today aren’t we.

So I opened it, and behold a big picture of a dirty bony kid stood there staring back at me with soiled hands and booger pouring out of his nose. Eww right?

I had figured out the topic of this mail by now. This was going to be another mopey whiny one about malnutrition, orphans or something. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing but love for them, but heck looking at some of the relatives/family one ends up with sometimes makes me feel envious of those buggers.

Anyways, I scroll down to next picture - another shirtless kid (surprised?) with some sort of white dust all over him, maybe concrete.

Unimpressed, I scroll down to the next image - a greasy kid pushing some sort of lathe drill into metal and such

Aha now I see where this is going, lo and behold the next image - a really dark girl smiling and holding a handful of flowers to a car window at a traffic signal.

This was a mail about child labor. I keep scrolling down with back to back images of kids not yet into their teens doing minimum wage work like waiting on tables, cleaning dishes  at a restaurant, picking recyclable plastic garbage at the junkyard etc. There was this one picture of a kid working at a construction site lifting like 5 concrete bricks, each almost as big as his limbs. That I found oddly impressive.

       

Well jokes aside, the pictures were a sad affair and I was especially moved by the one with the little kid picking garbage in the huge almost-mountain of a landfill junkyard. I could only imagine the repulsive odor and disgusting gunk in that place. That child definitely harped on the empathy cord I sadly am born with. 

August 2, 2014

The Beautiful Woman


"I see that woman everyday, sitting on a bench at the bus stop waiting for her ride.. Saying she is beautiful might be an understatement, she's gorgeous!

But she never smiles, I guessed she's one of those females who's beauty got to her head and now has an attitude problem.. Well hell with her, like I give a damn..

Then yesterday, I was late for my ride and saw the reason for her being at the bus stand.. She was waiting yes, but for a kid, her child probably.. A school bus stops and a kid gets down, helped by two guys.. He was a handicap with limp legs..

The woman, who never smiles, hurries to him with open arms and huge grin on her face..

She has a beautiful smile..

I suppose none of us 'daily-whiners' deserve to witness it, but her child does.. A child who has all the reason in the world to throw down the towel and say 'I quit', but still goes on with his life.. That's strength!

And just look at her.. She clearly could have a better life than having to spend her days tending to a kid with special needs.. But she will stick with him till the end, come what may.. That's love!!" :-) :-) :-)



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March 22, 2014

Your Greatest Fear In Life.. Is Something That Is Good For You!



“Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up”― Veronica Roth


We all live in fear of something..

Fear of ghosts, spiders, vampires, heights, werewolves, depths, dark, insects, ants,

Fear of ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-lovers, ex-in-laws, current in-laws,

Fear of failure, intimacy, sorrow, calamities, extra work right before you leave office for the day,


Fear of strangers, strangers with weird physical abnormalities, strangers with inappropriate obsession with twilight characters,

Fear of, well, anybody with an inappropriate obsession to do anything with twilight,
(Clearly, I have an aversion to twilight a tad too much!)

Fear of wealth – having too less of it, and if you have some fear of losing all of it,

Fear of thunder,

Fear of lightning,

Fear of your folks finding out the pile of nasty stuff you did in past that they don’t know of yet!

Etc etc..




The list seems to go on forever!!

You always notice a little nervous sneer, breathlessness, cold skin, goose bumps, shivering, hands and feet doing things out of one’s control or a rich shade of red in faces of people whenever they feel they are in harm’s way.

A similar shade of color, expressions and etc symptoms are seen in people when they are exulted, or well, in love.

But neither love nor ecstasy really exists do they?

They are all just things resulting from our hyper-active imagination or by sheer chemical play of hormones.

What makes fear any different from these emotions?

Maybe what we fear the most in life is just another part of our being telling us that there is something going on outside/inside of us that we have to stand up and take notice of.

Maybe it is just another biological alarm-point for us, like getting a fever or wanting to throw up etc.

Only these alarms go off only inside out heads.

And we control our mind to a large extent. So we can very well mold this fear to serve our needs.

Because you see, being fearless is stupid and a blatant lie.

Fear is actually good. It makes you perform better, makes you put your best foot forward.

You think better and clearer when you feel your own butt is at stake!

You see.. Greed for success can make you successful only to an extent, but fear of failure is the thing that drives you all the way to the top!!


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October 5, 2013

What is love?




"Love isn't about succumbing to every wish of the other person, fearing the outcome if you dont - break up..

Love shouldn't be something that comes to you at gunpoint, the things that you do for love should be done cause it brings you joy, cause it means something to you!

Love should be something that you do for yourself just as much as you do for the other person!!"



via An Irony Called Life (facebook)


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August 16, 2013

The (Only One?) True Love Predicament



“This is not a goodbye, my darling, this is a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. I love you, T.”

- Nicholas Sparks,
  'Message in a Bottle'

  
As the title obviously suggests this post is going to be a very soppy self-indulgent one, well at any rate more than my usual ones are anyway. So you very well should know what you are getting into.


Actually, sometimes I think life would be so much simpler if everything came with such a warning.


Right at the beginning of some important chapter in your life there comes a disclaimer - like those before the movies or on the cigarette cases.


("smoking is injurious to health" - really? I had no idea!)

These warnings seems to crop up everywhere. At the violent movies, that most impressionable children are inevitably going to watch; and at the boxes of cigarettes, that most smokers are going to puff out no matter what!


But then I think, just as futile as these disclaimers are in either scenarios; they might prove just as pointless if they were to be placed at some really landmark turning points of our life. Would we change our paths if there were anything that warns us of the dangers or the hurt and pain ahead of you? Would we dare not to have known/had those wonderful experiences that most of these moments bring into our lives?


Suppose at the precise moment that you get out of college and sit for your very first job interview, just before you answer their first question a pop up video blurb appears (like the one in that show in MTV) saying:


"Fun Fact: The moment you answer this question the interviewer would be impressed and immediately decide to hire you. You will agree to work here for considerably lower pay that what they would have easily agreed to pay had you negotiated a little more. They will squeeze your brain and blood for the next four years, robbing you off of all the zeal and innovative ideas you've ever had throughout your college life turning you into just like the pompous vegetable they themselves have turned into!"


Now after seeing that, would you in your right senses ever accept such a job offer?


Obviously no.


But since there wasn't any such pop up prediction available for you at that time, you take up that job and end up being miserable for the next four years of your life just as it had said. You sell your soul to the devil in return for four years of work experience in something that you never had any real interest in. And with people that you don't care lived or evaporated.


That's obviously disheartening, isn't it? But still, this office was the place you discovered your affinity to Beatles and Zappa. This is the place where you will meet a senior manager who will become one of your favorite mentor and stay so even after you leave the company. Also, this could also be the place where you make acquaintance with a girl with whose roommate you fall head over heels in love. Would you dare miss out on all that??


Now, imagine if there were to be such a disclaimer when it came to matters of the heart. But for obvious reasons it should be different from the one above.

After all matters of the heart supersedes in importance over anything else in one’s life, right?

I suppose it must be like the one in the music video of Savin' Me by Nickelback. Just like in the video, here there is a countdown on top every prospective mate in your vicinity, stating the amount of time they are going to stay in your life.

But that’s not enough now is it? There are many other equally crucial and decisive criteria that you will tick off when it comes to choosing someone to fall in love with.
Most often I have heard people, men and women alike, bring up this make-or-break requirement that their prospects just have gotta to fulfill: ”He/she has got to be my soul mate."


Perdóname, senor. What does soul mate mean exactly?


Oxford says, "Soul mate : a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner."


Now, tell me what/when/how has any man/woman/others in all of the history of mankind on this planet ever, been able to find anything that has been remotely deemed fit to be described as 'ideal'?


There has always been a compromise. At some level or the other no matter good or desirable that object might be, you always have to adjust with something. Some might argue that this specific defect/quirk is probably what that makes this person all the more dear to them, their One True Love.


When you had imagined your ideal partner in the first place, did you imagine them with all these elfin eccentricities?


Probably not. By definition, these quirks and fancy traits that they have are for the most part their own creations. Unique and very hard to imagine on any person before you happen to come across somebody actually having them. How could one possibly envision them any earlier?

 Another thing that has always baffled me:



Suppose you are married to wonderful person, you love him and soon have a couple of amazing children with this person that you love very dearly. Then many years down the line you come by another guy/gal who seems to be that perfect mate you have always dreamed of. You acquaint with this person and you start a terrific rapport just to find that you and he/she have more in common with you than you and your spouse has ever had in all of your time together.

Let's just assume that you go crazy in love/infatuation/lust/emotion/whatever and leave behind the house that you have built with your spouse of so many years to go live with this person.

Do you imagine a happily-ever-after ending to this tale in every situation ahead?

Might work, might not. This person that you are riding off into the sunset with, could turn out to be the sweetest of souls ever to be born, or just another Axe Murderer or the next Josef Fritzl.

In any case. Could you help me understand what was the fault of your child or of the husband/wife you leave behind?


See where this baffles me?

August 12, 2013

Somebody and Mr. Nice Guy




  
Somebody asks Mr. Nice Guy: 'I hear that nice guys always finish last, and mostly end up alone.. This is the age of jerks and pricks.. Is this true??'
Mr. Nice Guy: 'You heard right, so?'
Somebody: 'Don't you get tired of it??'
Mr. Nice Guy: 'Well, it really depends on how you look at it.. Nice guys are winners before the race even starts, we don't let the game destroy who we are.. We stay true, honest, loyal..o conditions applied anywhere.. We don't SELL OUT, to SCORE MORE!!'


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July 26, 2013

First Anniversary, at First Job!

“A true balance between work and life comes with knowing that your life and activities are integrated, not separated.”
- Michael Sunnarborg
July the 23rd, 2013 - exactly a year since I’ve started at the first real grown-up job of my life.
And as stereotyped as it seems to be when it comes to Indians, I actually do work in IT. Still it hasn’t really turned out to be as torturous as they make it out to be.

Maybe that comes later. I don’t know ignorance is bliss, I suppose.


Anyway. This past one year has been a helluva roller coaster ride; loads of twist and turns, sudden ups and drastic downs. But nonetheless a very exciting time indeed.
Met a lot of wonderful people (AG, KR, PV, RG, TS etc.)
Learnt a lot about the Lone Wolf guidelines (the importance of having a healthy supply of paper soap with you at all times, how to go from full-wallet-rich-as-shit to puny-arse-broke-as-hell in less than a week!)
Had some really great experiences (nomadic solo trips all around the city, rediscovering friendships, and shedding off a few way-past-expiry-date ones...)
As for the things that go on within the office walls. Man, each day is a revelation!
Things seem so different this side of college.
My workplace is in the IT compound of a Special Economic Zone. The best thing about working in SEZs and Tech Parks, where almost always half a dozen big companies set up shop in the same neighborhood, is that you get to meet people from many other IT companies and interact with them. So I kind of have observed some peculiarities and similarities in almost every big MNC I have come across. We are not all that different, you and I. Everybody is just as stuck/fortunate as everybody else.
Yes, I agree I have been away from home since college. So you could say I already know the basics of shacking it out on your own. But college was different. In school you know you are going to have to spend the rest of your time there with the people around you. So you find the most compatible ones and choose to have them around you at all times.
In a corporate, you don’t have that option. You don’t get to choose. You have to make do with what you get because you will have at some point or the other get something done by or for them. Most people won't be so hard to handle or like. As always it depends on your luck, and how much they know the good parts of you (if at all there exists one) and how much you get to know them.
I’ve seen the sense of putting in an effort or time to actually get to know someone is absent here, may be that used to be there a couple of decades earlier in our father/grandfather’s offices; when people that you work with, somehow ended up becoming your best of mates and your child’s god parents. It sure isn’t happening these days!

May 3, 2013

A Long Time Coming

"I am using the truth, Master Wayne. Maybe it's time we all stop trying to outsmart the truth and let it have its day. I'm sorry."
- Alfred Pennyworth
  'The Dark Knight Rises'

Truth.

Such a fearsome idea, isn't it. A gigantic magnificent elephant in the room; that we all know about but never come out in the open and acknowledge. We see it, sense it, register it inside our brains, and even decipher the outcome of it all. But we never really seem capable to accept it as a fact of life and take in the guts, by sheer sportsmanship.

Not all men are born sporty. Not all men can live with their true faces out in the open for everyone to see.

We all are born capable of knowing and analyzing things that happen in our lives. If anyone says that they didn't see it coming. Pal, they are lying blatantly. Maybe they themselves not realizing that they are.

December 24, 2012

The Doomsday can still come! The world, as we know it, can still come to an END!!

"Wild, dark times are rumbling toward us. And the Prophet who wishes to write a new apocalypse will have to invent entirely new beasts, beasts so terrible that the ancient animal symbols of St. John will seem like cooing doves and cupids in comparison."
- Heinreich Heine,
  "Lutetia; or, Paris" Augsberg Gazette, 1842




I did not know who Heine was at that time, nor did I know why he said that. But in light of recent events I am not sure if anything else would be more appropriate here.

There are times when pop culture, with all of its cliches and overdramatic urban legends, comes out with something so logically convincing and outright bizarrer that the whole world mankind unwillingly (or willingly as an escape from reality) ends up believing it.

21, December, 2012 was one such legend.

People were falling prey to it everywhere. Dozens for documentaries were made, hundreds of websites and forums created to bring together people of this cult to prepare for the "end of time" conflicts, thousands of bunkers and strongholds built in basements and high hills where people shut themselves up for most of the second half of the year. Millions spend on a high budget ($200mto be precise) Roland Emmerich movie on it, which also incidentally earned its maker millions ($770m!)

So clearly, this was a big deal. Or so everyone thought until the day actually came.

It came and it went. Nothing of grave importance occured. It was just another day for most of the planet.

World did not end. Buildings did not crumble like sand castles. Cities did not slid into the ocean. Hot lava did not pour out of the mound in the park.

All that happened was that I missed the bus to work.

Nothing new there even.

We are back where we are. Right?

December 12, 2012

12.12.12.


"Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creative insanity!"
- Bo Bennett

This should be interesting right.

Always thought it would be wicked to witness something extraordinary happening on a date like this. One can’t help but think so, look at what all the pop culture has got us into believing, thanks to the Mayan calendar and the Occult and whatnots.

But each darn time, they disappoint me. These dates just don’t seem to offer anything out of the ordinary. Nothing ever happens! (dates as in the measure-of-time kind, not the other one!)

To add to the burn. Even today I was so close to missing the company bus!

Today could’ve been different, at least in this small thing. It is not demanding too much is it?

Well.. Anyways, there is still the rest of the day left ahead of us. Enough time for us to spice things up a bit. So find time go out with your mates today and do something different yourself, for yourself.

I’m done expecting these symmetrical dates on the calendar to bring something exciting to me, let’s just go ahead and create some excitement for ourselves! (‘Aaj kuch toofani karte hai’ mode)

Hope you all have an exciting 12.12.12 ahead! Stay awesome!

And happy wishful thinking!! :-P :-) :-)



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November 28, 2012

Question: Do you realize just how messed up you are?
Answer: Yes, I do!

"The egoist in the absolute sense is not the man who sacrifices others. He is the man who stands above the need of using others in any manner. He does not exist for any other man -- and he asks no other man to exist for him. This is the only form of brotherhood and mutual respect possible between men."
- Howard Roark,
 'The Fountainhead'

Yes, I know. I haven’t written anything here for a while.

And if at all I do its in long intervals. About lord-only-knows what topic, at lord-only-knows what day, and especially lord-only-knows why.

It’s not that I’ve given up on blogging, no I have not. I enjoy this, I really do!

Life’s just been coming in the way too much, lately. And people around me know what a roller coaster ride it has been for the past four months or so. New place, new city, new job, new people. Couldn’t actually find the time, not that I was at lost on what to say, or was in shortage of things to talk about. I never am!

Things were a bit too cluttered, needed some sorting out. But have cleared it out now; got a nice healthy stable routine. It’s all good.

Except…

Sometimes, for some people, making do with some lame routine just won’t do. The drag of living in monotony and doing the same thing day in day out without any novelty in it proves a terrible downer. They always are on the look-out on something to bring out the zeal in them. Something that is theirs, and nobody else’s. Something, they could call their own. Their own private territory.

For me, it is writing.

Cheap thrills? I suppose so.

But who is to blame anyone for that matter? Not one soul on this planet wants to have a life without meaning. Nobody wants to leave this planet without leaving a mark. Everybody wants their name to be remembered for awhile even after they reach the pearly gates up above. Nobody wants to be forgotten. No one wishes to fall prey to the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ syndrome we all have as a species. Why do you think all those scientists and geniuses put their own name to their theories and hypothesis or of their favorite cat’s or even an aunt for that matter? They wanted to be remembered. At least for some time.

I am rambling now.

This brings to my topic at hand today, a very innocent question to me by somebody a few hours ago:

“You talk rash. You don’t think before you speak and say whatever comes to your mind. You speak loud and laugh louder, and you walk like you rule the planet. You don’t just do what’s asked of you, you have to question everything. You know everyone and everything about them; everyone comes to you with their issues while none of them know the first thing about yours or even know if you have any. You know everything all the time, you have the solutions to everybody problems. But I have never seen you ask for anybody’s assistance; give them a chance to help you. You are way too cheery and ‘happy happy’ all the time. You go ahead and give some the most mature intellectual long speeches that I have ever seen anybody give; and then go around and eat ice-cream with a FORK like a 4 year-old!

Do you realize just how messed up you are?”

My honest answer, pal:

“I do. And if all that you said qualifies me to be messed up, then I'm darn glad that I am.”



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October 7, 2012

The Catalyst For Change


"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."
- Anatole France

When I was about to leave home for the first time for college, most people around me were of the view that something of huge importance is about to happen in my life. Somehow this single act of getting out of ‘the nest’ is about to change me, my way of thinking, likes and dislikes, even way of doing things. They said, up until then my life was within the very safe protection of my family. Where I didn’t have to ever worry about being alone, uncared for, nor getting my laundry done and neatly ironed. At that time, it all seemed like every other long lecture that the wise elders used to give; some of these used to go longer and more boring than those that began with ‘when I was of your age’. I never could understand the compulsion for adults to give these repetitive telecasts of the same subject again and again, on an uncomfortably frequent basis. I never will until I reach their age, comes their immediately reply if I were to foolishly present this question to them. Never expect a straight answer from them, you’d never ever get it.

The thing is, even after months and months of getting into this college I couldn’t figure out what would be this mysterious catalyst within these four walls of the campus that was going to change me so drastically. Yes, I was alone and had to do everything by myself. Mother wasn’t here to tend to my needs and to provide me with her delicious food. I had to make do with whatever we could find here and try to survive on the stuff they called food and expected us to swallow. Yes, this was all new to me and so where the people here. But I was always able to make friends wherever I went and soon there was a huge mob of people that knew me and that I knew. So there really weren’t really many places around the campus town where I’d ever find myself lone for the remaining four years of college yet to come.

The college I went to was 400 kilometers far from my hometown Mumbai. So it was a one night of travel to go to and from there to home, so usually it was sometimes weeks or even more that I go to eat mum’s food. And throughout my time away from home, and even now, that’s probably thing that I miss the most. The food wasn’t that bad in the hostel, but as most things in life the monotony of it killed its novelty in time. Fortunately, the roomies that I got were all also a bunch of indolent, bamboozled, languid buffoons like me. And darn did I have a helluva time with all of them. We were a group of solid 16 idiots, give or take a few at any point of time. The best thing about it was that we met during the first weeks of college itself and we stayed together through most of it. Had millions of fights and gazillions of arguments, but as I’ve seen in most guys. None of these squabbles lasted more than a week, after the initial violent outburst. Guy friendships are simpler and less maintenance than with the female specie.

January 22, 2011

The Apple Tree

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible."
- T.E. Lawrence

Right from the humble naked beginnings of our lives, we humans are taught how virtuous and rewarding it is to live life in a righteous, courteous and truthful way. We are taught how it is every human being’s moral and social duty to be an ethical, compassionate and caring member of the civilized society. We are taught to say please when you are asking for something, to say thank you when you have got it, and sorry when you have got it and for some incomprehensible reason broke or misplaced it. We were taught that there is no problem in the face of this all forgiving planet that cannot be solved by just sitting across a table and discussing over it, and not debating over it. We have been taught by the very pillars of our society that we students call teachers, apart from the many other more creative names given to by their loving pupils, about the many dignified personalities in the pages of history who have made their mark on the timeline of this planet through their generosity and humanity.

We are programmed to care.

And for most of our childhood, we sincerely do. We confidently ran around naked in the neighbourhood with our mommy running behind with a diaper in her hands yelling for us to stop, we played with total stranger’s children in the sandbox in the park, smiled at strangers and waved at them. We were are truly amiable. The world was one big happy playground. And then, we become teenagers.

Just like no one knows why Lady Gaga or Himesh’s songs go to the top of the charts every time, no one really knows why teenagers are angry all the time. Back in the 60’s maybe they had lot of reasons, the unnecessary conflict in ‘Nam and then the Cold War and all. Even in the 80’s their anger is understandable may be, anyone would have been driven to the loony bin if they had to withstand those disastrous hairstyles for too long. In the 90’s they probably got pissed because they all couldn’t get enough of the cool new “happening” thing, computers. And now in this millennium probably they are enraged over all these new privacy laws and whatnots have propped all-over facebook, or that they have less likes on that special status they have put up after pondering over it longer than they have ever done with any history paper at school.

Well, seems like teenagers always found a reason to pissed off about, cannot really blame them for that. They have lived all their preteens being the good child, they have just come to know about the good that could from being bad. They get this high on disobeying rules, talking back to their folks at home, do what they feel like and the many other essentials on the to-do list of a regular Devil-May-Care personality. And they stick to this routine for the rest of their teens. But that never lasts too long though. Before you know it you are in your ugly 20’s.

This part of human existence I am all too familiar with, on account of my actually going through it right now. The 20’s is that wonderful period in a person’s life when one of two things can happen, (a) he/she becomes the luckiest person on the planet and doesn’t changes a bit from the naïve brat that he/she was as a teenager, or (b) he/she wises up to his/her responsibility and falls into the deep cesspool of the “real world”. And when this person does start thinking about his future, about what he is going to do with this life of his, he starts dreaming.

The early parts of the 20’s are wonderful. You spend your days dreaming about the possibilities of the future, and you stay up at night to dream some more. The truth of the matter is this part of your life right here, is where you actually are the happiest and the optimistic you will ever be in your life. You will feel invincible. There is nothing and no one that can bring you down and there is nothing that you cannot do and no plaque on which you cannot put your name on. You have a bounce in your walk, you have friends all around you who love you, even your folks back at home begin to forget what a pain you were when you were a teen. The world truly feels like your oyster. And the sad part is you really begin to believe it. As everything that’s good in this planet, this feeling also sadly doesn’t last long.

January 20, 2010

The Truth About Lies

“But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.”
- Khaled Hosseini

I have always thought that truth and lies are always interlinked to each other. Each cannot survive without the other. They both are nothing but the two sides of the same old rusted coin. Truth is usually overrated, but then so are the lies. People think that the truth might liberate their soul, which is all nothing but a pile of rotten horsecrap. People want to always know everything. And hear nothing but the truth. What is the point anyways? More often than not we never like the truth any more than the lie. The truth only makes it all the more difficult. It’s so much easier sometimes to just say a lie and get it over with than bring out the whole big fiasco of a truth to light which needs a much longer explanation.

And explanations aren’t foolproof. There are times when the explanations get so complex and twisted and turned such a way that you yourself have got no idea what was it that got you into this mess you are in.

I think that the main reason for lying is our loss of the most precious human qualities, our ability to forgive. We are afraid of each other. We are scared witless that the other person might not understand our helplessness or the conditions and the pressures that we were under at that precise moment which led to the choices or actions we had undertaken. The choices and decisions that got us in the trouble we are in. If we knew that they would understand and forgive us. We would have no hesitation in plainly saying the truth as it was.

I am sure that our mistakes aren’t as grave as crucifying Christ. And even He asked for forgiveness to the culprits who did that to him. No, none of us are Christ. I don’t actually expect anyone to walk on water (would have been pretty cool though). And I probably don’t expect anyone to crucify anybody except their college profs may be (y'all know you want to). If He can manage to forgive at the last moment of his life. Why can not we do that? They say to walk on the path of the Almighty. Then why don’t they do the same. Why can’t they forgive? Why does everything have to be done according to their norm? Why can’t they forgive us if we stray from their path? Is it so unbearable for them to see us defy them? Why can’t they let us be? Judging us and condescending us is not going to help us in any way. When are they going to realize that?

We are young. We are meant to make mistakes. Loads of them. We are meant to learn from them. We have to fall first to learn how to walk straight. Humans did not learn to stand without falling for the first dozen hundreds of years. If you had patience then. Where is that patience now? If you could tolerate and forgive mistakes way back when you were just like a chimpanzee, why can’t you do that now when you are supposed to be the smartest living creature on this planet? May be if you could forgive, we wouldn’t be so darn scared of the truth.

So now that it is quite obvious that not forgiving is not helping much. Why not try forgiving?

Hope it doesn’t take another bunch of centuries to better ourselves this time…



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My Story

“Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.”
- Niccolò Machiavelli,
  'The Prince'

People think that they have the vaguest idea of me and what I am but that, unfortunately, cannot be more further from the truth. I’ve been called secretive, secluded and even hostile at times. And at sometimes I am called very outgoing and a very center-of-all-the-good-times kind of person.

Contradictory? Yes. I think so too.

How can a single person be so many things to so many people at so many different situations? May be that’s it, the situations are the ones that make us be different at different times to different people. Some people make us let go of all the boundaries and limits that we make ourselves restricted to. We just cannot seem to stay reserved and secluded from them for long like we do with the rest of mankind.

It probably is a universal problem. I am sure there are more like me. I am not really surprised at that notion. Because. There is never enough of anything. Never. We as a specie always need more.

Need. Funny word isn’t it. We think we need this pricey little shoe that is probably worth a week’s meal for a family in Africa. We think we need this immaculate vintage Jag that can probably fill that same family’s hungry stomach for a year or more. We think we need that. But we never actually do. I think what we actually lack in life we make up by wishing for stuff. Dreaming of it. Working our butts of day-in-day-out that a day will come along when we actually get to have all these oh-so-lovely stuff that we need so bad. But that is what they are. Stuff. Good for nothing stuff. I don’t wish for them. I am darn proud that I am not that materialistic. Not that shallow.

I wish for experiences. Yes, experiences. Experiences like Polo had. Experiences like those kids of the houses with a big hall with crystal chandeliers and swimming pools. Experiences like the lowly thug who has had some self-claimed, exaggerated and glorified tales to tell. I’d like to have some like them. I’d like to have some experiences to call me own. Some stories that I can tell around a bonfire as my own experiences. Some story where I was a character of importance. Some play in which I am the lead and not among the audiences. Some movie based on a true story.

My story.

Wish I had one. Hope for one. Dream of one.

I am waiting for it to come around. Working, waiting for my story to begin…



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