A Friend In Need, Is A Friend Most Misunderstood

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

- Henri J.M. Nouwen,

  'The Road to Daybreak'

I know I haven’t written much here for a while. Doesn’t mean I have stopped.

I am still writing, just not posting them here.

There are things happening around that may not have much entertainment value here. But I have noticed that writing it out does help me vent. Not an invitation of overtly intellectual psychoanalysis. Just a fact that I have to realize.

You see. We people are a very weird lot. We always have an inclination to put the other person under the Magnifying Glass of Doubt at every chance we get. While there may not be many reasons for one to doubt the intentions of the other guy/girl, we always have this nagging voice inside our head “what’s in it for him?” “why is she telling me all this?” “does he think I am the culprit for his problems?” “does she want me to carry forward this information to others, is that why she is telling me?”

And on and on.

We are very distrustful towards each other. We always expect the other person to have ulterior motive behind each of their actions. Mostly they don’t. They sometimes just want to be there for you. Just want someone to hang on to. Or hang out with. Not all human beings are criminal masterminds and murdering sociopaths.

We are also at times distrustful when we are the ones that need the other person’s help. We are wallowing in our own sorrows. We have a ton of problems in our lives. But we get nervous about opening up to someone and ask for their help. We think we are strong when we bear through the pain silently. But the truth is we are cowards. We are not brave enough to risk telling our troubles out loud thinking we might jinx it and actually make matters worse. And also there is the nagging thing in our heads again saying “shut up, this guy will only tell you to eff off with your problems to some place” “why would she even want to hear my sad stories?” "why is he going to help me? what is in it for him??" “no one cares about your heatbreak, you are a sore ugly useless person who is never going to get anywhere in life, you never really deserved him anyways!”

And on and on and on.

You see where I am going? People are weirdos.

We have so many things going on inside our hat-size 7 heads. How long do you suppose it is going to be capable of containing it all in before a Spears style total break-down??

We all have problems, who doesn’t? Even Obama finds himself in a tight spot three times a week. And that is when he is not running for a re-election. He has a whole battalion of problem-solvers at his disposal to do assist him in getting out of troubles. How many do you have?

No matter who you are. No matter how strong you think you are, even if you are as tall and sturdy as Dara Singh. Your heart is just made up of tissues and blood. Though they are one of the strongest ones in your body, they can only take so many of blows to it. Physical and otherwise.

Be kind to your heart. You only ever get one to call your own.

Don’t pretend yourself to be Mr.Invincible. That guy in tights fought with villians that never had to come out of the colorful pages, he never had to deal with real battles that we fight day in day out.

You cannot do this alone, pal. You need friends around you just as much as much you need air to breathe. Most times you just need one. Someone who knows everything about you and still think you are pretty darn amazing. Atleast, amazing enough to share a bucket of fried chicken with. And that counts for something.

If you have one such friend. Try as hell to keep him with you for the longest possible time. Let go of your petty ego and misunderstandings. Be prepared to give as much as you take away from the friendship. Never give up on the friendship, ever. Most of all, trust! That is the most important thing in any long lasting friendship. Struggle for its survival, like your life depends on it.

In many a way, it does.

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